I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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