he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
