quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
