just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
