Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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