Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
