Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
