Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
