you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
