my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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