What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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