her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
