If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
