I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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