She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
