i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
