id be glad to
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
