Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
