Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
ttyl tear gas
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
