Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
