College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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