So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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