im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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