my sisters under your porch take her home
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
