Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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