I think my vagina is haunted
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
