Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
