I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it glows. i had to have it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
