I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
