i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
