Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
