But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
