who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
