you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Houston, we have a squirter
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
