so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
