Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
God, I missed his penis.
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