I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
