I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
