I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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