i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
