I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
