My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
