weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
