what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So many bounce houses so little time
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
