Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
