everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
