i wish starbucks made bloody marys
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I just shit out all my problems.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
