i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
