She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
