i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
