I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
