I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I smell stomach acid.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
