What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
