i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
