how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Boobs are out for the taking
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
