he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
