We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
