is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
