She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
